From Addicted to Drugs to Addicted to Jesus - One Man's Testimony of recovery, redemption and love.
I have the honor of knowing this man. His testimony has given countless people hope in overcoming their own addictions. His testimony is powerful and testifies of the atoning saving grace of our savior. With permission I asked if I could share this testimony with others who may not be familiar with the trials and struggles of someone battling addiction. There are many people on the streets and families that we deal with in our own organization that are embattled in addiction but not too many people understand what addiction is and the impact that it has on the individuals, families and community. By sharing this testimony it helps to put a face to this ongoing epidemic and our hope is that it can empower someone who may be finding themselves in a battle that they can overcome. Thank you Clay for allowing us to share your personal and powerful story.
On September 27, 2010 my whole world change. Back story, I was 12 years deep in my addiction my life was out of control, I wasn’t present as a Dad, I was a horrible husband, I was a crappy friend, and son, financially I was broke, and spiritually, I was dead! I didn’t know what to do. At this point of my addiction it wasn’t about getting high. It was about trying to survive! I had no faith that God cared or even knew who I was. I hated him as much as I hated myself. I felt alone and scared. I was just hoping that I could just die. We were on the verge of loosing everything we had. House, car, job, and even my life. My life was definitely unmanageable. On the morning of September 27, 2010 I went out to my meat shop. Got on my knees and I gave praying one last chance. I begged God to take this pain away. I surrendered I was done. I couldn’t do it anymore. I prayed like I had never prayed before. I ended my prayer and it was instant! I heard it plan as day. “Throw your pills away and get honest with Tammy now!” I did just that! It was the most humbling thing to me. I told Tammy EVERYTHING that I had done, and was doing. I felt free, I felt peace for the first time in a very long time. The healing process was taking place. I immediately went to work, went into my bosses office and got honest with him. Fully expecting to be fired. (Which I most certainly deserved.) at this point I started detoxing. It was uncomfortable and miserable. Tammy was able to get me into a detox at lake view hospital in bountiful, Ut. She had laid the seats down in the mini van, made me a little bed and at 4am we headed to the hospital. At this point I was sick, cold, clammy, very anxious, and wanted to die more than ever before. I tried to reach up and open the door on the van so I could roll myself under the van. I didn’t even have the strength to do that. They admitted me into the ER and took me to the detox floor. The amount of narcotics I was taking should have killed me. I had a lot of personal spiritual experiences over the next few days. When I completed the detox I was transported to a Renaissance Ranch a treatment center in Bluffdale, Ut. Where I completed a two month in-house treatment center. I was in there with about 20 other men just as broken as I was. When I got out I wasn’t sure if I still had a marriage or a job. By the grace of God, I had both! Without going into too much detail my employer Weatherford international where I am still happily employed. Looked out for me. Tammy never gave up on me and was there to pick me up. I then completed a aftercare program at Renaissance Ranch. I had to travel 6 hours round trip three days a week while working full time. It was a lot of work, but very rewarding. (If you are still reading this, you are very dedicated. Ha ha I would have given up after the first paragraph.) I learned so much in those 5 months. I learned that through Jesus Christ I could be made whole again. I learned that I didn’t have to do everything on my own that I could turn it over to Christ and he would help make things easier, more bearable, and he was in control, not me. When I did those things my life changed. My marriage got better, I was there for my girls. I never knew the damage my addiction caused to my kids. I thought they were too young to know. Samantha was eight and Kortlyn was 6 one day I was downstairs playing a game with them and they said they liked their new Dad, because I play with them now. It broke my heart and I will never forget what they said. From that point on. I promised myself I would be there for my girls and Tammy and they would be a priority in my life! I’ve left out so much, but this is way too long as it is. My point of sharing this is in hopes to help others. It’s been a hard thing for me to put myself out here like this, but if it can help just one person. It was worth it.
I just dropped my best friend off at Renaissance Ranch a few days ago. Watching him struggle breaks my heart. I hate seeing him suffer, I hated seeing him say goodbye to his wife and kids. Even though I know exactly what he is going through and how amazing this experience will be for him and his family, it still hurts. I pray everyday for him, his family, and everyone else that is suffering. I’m here to say it can be done! God loves each and everyone of us. Life today is good, not always perfect, but it’s perfect for me. I fall short every single day, and as long as I’m doing my best to be better than I was yesterday God blesses me. For me staying sober is serving others. I have to serve someone every day. When I do that, the Lord blesses me. He allows me blessing that I never felt I was worthy of. I’m grateful and thank him everyday! If anyone I know is struggling or have a family member struggling give them my number. I will visit with anyone at anytime. This is life or death to me. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the past 12 years and I don’t want to loose anymore! September 27, 2010 changed me for the rest of my life. I will forever be grateful for this day. I never dreamed I would be where I am today.
Clay is a successful multiple business owner, entrepreneur and friend of God.